What is a Narcissist? A Narcissist is someone who expects someone to take care of them, to put them on a pedestal and treat their wants and needs like they are their top priority while feeling no need for reciprocation. This is why they attract Empaths. And I mean that is just one definition of a narcissist, there are many more. They are non-accountable for their actions and they need a partner who will clean up their messes and also accept their projections. They will always see themselves as a Victim.
An empath is someone who believes that they need to take care of people, to heal or to fix them. And usually on some level do not believe that they are worth loving and being shown affection. They give and give with the hope of receiving something until they are depleted of their energy and time. This was 100% me. I am an empath. I am now a healed Empath, but none the less an empath.
Did you know that both empaths and narcissists suffer from early developmental trauma.
The difference is that that narcissists are essentially weak. They are all about selfishness and hate. Usually internal hate that they project externally onto others. Empaths heal their dark past and continue to be there for humanity. That's the difference between the two. Narcissists are severely emotionally stunted, underdeveloped adults. Regardless of how high functioning they come off to be, they have no emotional regulation. It is literally like dealing with a raging child. Except the child is easier to handle than a full grown adult.
I can't diagnose anyone nor am I here to. But I know the situation I was in and I know me and my ex marriage all too well. If you are in a relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies, then you know you are exhausted. They are difficult, needy, controlling, verbally and mentally abusive and more. How could you not be exhausted? They are literally sucking the life out of your soul. They constantly need your energy and feed off the attention. They want so much and give such little in return, but just enough to keep you hooked. It is a vicious cycle.
Honestly I felt like I was the crazy one. In public and at home he made me seem like I was unstable, imbalanced and full of fear and doubt about myself, no self confidence. I was reacting to the abuse. I was angry all the time, super depressed, and I wouldn't be able to control my lash outs. I was overwhelmed all the time. My body was always tense. I knew I was losing myself and I had no idea how to get her back. This is pretty common for an empath. We feel everything to the harshest extent. It did not help that I had not healed my previous traumas and he played on it. I gave him fuel for the fire without even realizing it.
Narcissists love to wound and soothe all at the same time. It is a frustrating cycle to be in and it creates so much confusion which makes it easier for them to prey on their empath. You will never be enough for a narcissist. Please take that into consideration if this sounds like a relationship you are currently in or have been in. I will not diminish hope as there are the few narcissists that do realize their patterns and do seek help. But very few and far between does this happen. And it takes an incredible amount of self power to admit you have narcissitic tendencies and to seek the help you need. For that I condone you. I honestly believe we all have the narcissist tendencies but the difference is the victim mentality and not wanting to seek the help that they need for these tendencies. This defines the difference between an Empath and a Narcissist.
Thank you for coming to my TED TALK.